where am i from again
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
