Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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