Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We are two peas in an std pod
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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