In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
