I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
