i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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