420 ftw
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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