If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
