I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
