They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
