He kissed a someone with a penis
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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