I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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