I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
