Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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