Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
