he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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