thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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