Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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