i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
