he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
