Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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