chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
