So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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