We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
