he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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