Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
