so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
