East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
