Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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