honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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