I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
