Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
