When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
