He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
