is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
