god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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