Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Do you still have your period?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
