...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
