the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
