Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
