She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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