Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
