I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
