she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
