So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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