Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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