I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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