my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
