You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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