So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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