so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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