I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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