Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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