We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
