My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
vagina is talking i cant
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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