You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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