Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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