Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
