Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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