I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my mouth tastes like poor choices
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
