Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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