I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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