woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
