Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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